Actor Experiences: When the Stories Don't Line Up
Positive testimonies of onscreen sexuality, part 6
When it comes to a collective experience, not all participants have the same perspective. As Proverbs 18:17 says, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” Similarly, with discussions on any given nude or sex scene, one sound bite might make it sound benign, whereas another sound bite might put the scene in a different light.
In this series on positive testimonies about onscreen sexuality, we come to the fifth and final factor to examine: contradictory testimonies.
Rainy Days and Actor Tears
Consider the testimony of actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers. When asked if it was getting easier for him to film sex scenes on camera, he answered like this: “It was never tough from the beginning. . . . I’m always very comfortable. There are worse things you could do with yourself on a rainy day in Dublin than hop into bed with a beautiful actress.” For Meyers, filming sex scenes has been comfortable—even pleasant—from the start.
Compare that with the perspective of actress Ruta Gedmintas. Her first sex scene was filmed with Jonathan Rhys Meyers,1 and her experience was far from comfortable: “I was absolutely terrified and had no idea what was going on. . . . I cried afterwards because I was thinking, ‘This isn’t acting, what am I doing? My mum’s going to see this.’”2
Note how the experience broke Gedmintas down emotionally—so much, in fact, that she felt like she had left the realm of professional acting altogether. The vulnerable and compromising scene she had to film led to fear, tears, and shame. That’s a far cry from “comfortable.”
Now, some might argue that this example (from 2006) isn’t relevant because of the changes made in the entertainment industry since that time. My point here, though, isn’t that the Hollywood of today is the exact same as it was 19 years ago. Rather, my point is simply that there can be a disparity of opinion on how comfortable—or horrible—a particular experience has been. Just one person sharing a positive testimony doesn’t mean everyone had the same experience. Just because one actor didn’t feel violated doesn’t mean the other actor (or actors) didn’t.
Night from Day
Let’s consider another example: a segment on The Graham Norton Show with Ben Affleck and Sienna Miller. In it, Norton asks about the numerous sex scenes for their movie Live By Night (which Affleck wrote, directed, and starred in). Affleck responds, “Why else get into directing?” while Miller laughs beside him.
Affleck talks about how he wanted to do several takes of a particular sex scene without yelling “Cut” and “Action” between each take, but he didn’t make that clear to Miller. After doing several takes in a row, he says Miller finally “just started laughing—like ‘Who do you think you are?’” The conversation is nothing if not uproarious, and it gives the impression that the experience of filming the movie’s sex scenes was equally humorous.
However, in a separate interview with E! News (where Affleck was not present), Sienna Miller shares a different side to the story.
She talks about how the film’s collage of sexual escapades required “an entire day of just love scenes.” Miller confesses, “Obviously, by the time nine hours of it has gone past, I was shaking with tears running down my face.”
Miller tries placing the blame for the emotional breakdown on herself: “[Ben’s] very professional—I am not, but he is.” She tries downplaying it by saying things like, “there was no awkwardness,” and “you have to laugh,” and “[i]t is what it is.”
She even tries putting a positive spin on it, saying “It’s hysterical,” and “There will be some outtakes from that where I have to walk out of the room because I just have tears running down my face.” But crying, shaking, and having to leave the set in distress is a sign of sexual violation, not sexual hilarity.
The separate testimonies of Ben Affleck and Sienna Miller reveal radically different experiences. The first was positive and funny. The second, while giving a veneer of positivity, turned out to be tragic and heartbreaking.
An Extra Consideration
In this series, we’ve been looking at the testimonies of movie stars—those whose names take top billing on the posters and other promotional materials for the films they star in. Most movies, however, employ the services of dozens, if not hundreds, of other actors, including supporting and background actors. Their well-being is also important, but how they experience onset treatment is rarely, if ever, considered.
A Hollywood star might say she was treated with respect while filming a hypersexualized scene, but what about background actors who had to film similar content? Their dignity and humanity should matter just as much as anyone else’s. And yet, as Acting Magazine notes, because extras are “much more expendable” than main actors, “they tend to get treated like barnyard animals. . . . Some industry professionals are so disrespectful toward background actors that they label extras, ‘props that eat’.”
This issue was addressed in regards to the 2024 film Anora, which graphically portrays the goings-on at a strip club. Public press about the film’s hypersexualized content has focused almost exclusively on the film’s stars, as noted in an article by Variety:
“We’re really only hearing from the two lead actors, the director and the producer,” points out Lauren Kiele DeLeon, an intimacy coordinator. . . . “We’re hearing from the people who have the most power on this set, but they can’t speak for how every extra felt on the film.”
Indeed, the world of “Anora” is populated with many background actors who were tasked with sensitive material. The film’s early scenes take place in the strip club where Ani works; before she and Vanya ever have sex, several unnnamed women are seen giving lap dances to several unnamed men. Despite not having lines, each of those performers would have had a chance to talk through what kinds of costumes and contact they were comfortable with an intimacy coordinator if one had been present, Liroff says. . . .
An A-list actor can’t speak for everyone on set. And we will likely never know whether the background actors in Anora felt the same sense of comfort and security experienced by Mikey Madison (the Oscar-winning star of the film).
So the next time you watch or read an interview with an actor who professes complete and total comfort with a sexualized scene they had to film for a project, remember this: even if they are telling the truth, just know that you’re only hearing a small fragment of a larger story.
Previous entry: “Actors and Press Tours: A Perilous Tightrope”
Next entry: “What You See is Not Always What You Get”
As The Independent puts it (see the URL in the following footnote), Gedmintas “lost her screen virginity to Jonathan Rhys Meyers in The Tudors.”
Gilbert, Gerard. “My Mum’s Going to See This: Actors and Actresses Reveal Secrets of the Sex Scenes.” The Independent, 22 Apr. 2012, www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/features/my-mums-going-to-see-this-actors-and-actresses-reveal-secrets-of-the-sex-scenes-7658255.html.
Even if the actors felt total comfortable and secure ("a complete professional atmosphere") a certain dignity was stripped away from them that they can never get back, and they're basically admitting that if the script says to do jumping jacks in the nude, full frontal nudity, too - they'd do it. Just gotta put lipstick on the pig. Like the movie Anora, it's putting a plastic tiara on something that's truly skeevy in order to make it look "mature" or more "professional."
If a brothel had hostesses dress in black and white suits, with dimmed lighting, and sweet perfume filling the air, where velvet coaches adorned the each level, it'll make the brothel feel a certain way - sophisticated, sexy and exclusive. Even the clientele are society's elite or locals who are high earners. But once daylight approaches it's still a brothel.